Graduation

Never forget will I lifelong,
Bowing down in the gathering`s song.
Embarking on a victory lap,
Amidst the hands that stood to clap

The hall thronging with near and dear,
An applause, loud and clear.
A black gown and a cap,
Amidst the hands that stood to clap

A pause in the maze of time,
Wishes, all blessings sublime.
Lost in the flash of a snap,
Amidst the hands that stood to clap

Insane Reality vs Real Insanity

Sky Dive San Diego

I look down upon the expansive earth
I see a dumb cloud in all its worth
Imposing mountains waft around
In my head, not a single sound

Time entangles in a horrendous lump
I hear a fatal sound..'Jump'
My fragile heart heavily pounds.
The freakin airplane has my feet bound

Caught in the web of insane and real
How real can insanity be?
Adrenalin and a bloody cold down my spine
How insane can reality be?

No one to hold onto,
Moist air, my only glue.
I let go of my trepid soul
to gravitate in a depleted hole

I fight for existence
at the speed of thought
Amid breezy silence,
I give all I got

A split second into the amazing fall
Insanity, Reality ; Amidst all
I suddenly am numb and featherly light
No more afraid of hallucinating height

What I thought is fascinating hell
looking down in fact is heavenly shell
As pure as a child`s heart
Perspective, sure is an unglorified art

Even before I can breath and boast
Touches ground and stands tall
Rips me apart and hurts me the most
The last half inch of my 13,000 feet fall

I yell with all my subdued might
Triumphed like a winner`s kite
Insanity is super real; and
Reality is fearfully insane

Golden Melodrama

O` Setting sun, behold the incredible

Let me capture the battle remnant,

of the twilight and the firmament;

Don`t let go, hold on to your vibrance

Spread your hue onto the golden sand

Let me highlight my masterly strokes

with the alacrity of a wizard`s wand

The birds drenched in the gold

let the story unfold

Let me capture the gorgeous play,

I have nothing else to say

My Urdu Nazm to the same post

The Demons in my Mind

Brightness and the dark are at war, both in a mood to kill. My eyes are numb,staring at nothingness for no apparent intellectual thrill. A reason to sleep and sometimes a reason to be awake. My dreams are no longer for sale, for I cease to buy.They do have fun,the demons in my mind.

As prisoners of affection and a victim of earthly laws; wonder why hearts are made. Nothing is permanent. I am told ,this is wisdom a man should learn. How love becomes a reason to smile and how sometimes it becomes a reason to cry. I am no longer perfect, for I cease to love. They do have fun, the demons in my mind.

Fragments of hope here and there, the curve on my lips is very rare. How memories become a reason to rejoice and how sometimes they become a burden till eternity. My fantasies are no longer real, for I cease to imagine. They do have fun, the demons in my mind.

Its an unending menace, their being demand a piece of my ever dwindling energy.Sanity sometimes prevails and the same sanity sometimes destroys what I am left with; my existence. My inspirations are no longer a treasure, for I cease to dream.They do have fun,the demons in my mind.

Laughing humanity, its tongue tied. A slave of expectation, my laurels are bartered. Truth always beseeching the truth. How conscience fears the silence and how sometimes silence fears the conscience.My life no longer gallops, for I cease to reign.They do have fun, the demons in my mind.

The heaviness in my head,the never ending cacophony.Shut up, Shut up; something shouts deep inside me. Numbness comes at a price and my feelings are way too poor.My logic is my biggest support and sometimes my biggest enemy. My thoughts are no longer my slaves, for I cease to rule. They do have fun, the demons in my mind.

Satan whispers me the tricks of the trade. Death, painless and quick I wish in my fate. Its only the beginning that the end does fear. Funny are the laws of desire. I am no longer alive, for I cease to be immortal.They do have fun, the demons in my mind.

Talk to me O` demons,I will tolerate you. How life provides an opportunity to triumph and sometimes an opportunity to lose. I am no longer human, for I cease to exist. I ain`t a demon though. I ain`t a demon though. Nevertheless have fun, O` the demons in my mind.

Tyranny of Ifs and Buts..Pun Intended

( see the previous post " Genius of the 'AND' " and " Tyranny of The 'OR' " )

Somebody commented on it about 'IF' producing similar effects. The below is my reply to it.

I do get it when you mention 'IF'. To be honest, we are limited not by our thoughts, but by the language of our thoughts. To be precise, we are limited by our own language.

To second what I said above; infants do what they want, what they will. They are instinctive and to top it, they are not limited. To think about it, they do not possess what we proudly flash as 'logic' and 'language'. Over the years, they become mature and GAIN the language of 'AND', 'OR', 'IF', 'BUT' and guess what, they LOSE what is innate; their fullest self expression. (The irony of 'gain' and 'lose'… if you got what I said. There is always a balance. You gain something to lose something. When I gain knowledge, I lose ignorance about that knowledge. When I gain money, I lose sleep over it. When I lose money, I gain sleeplessness :D, You don’t have a choice, you are sleepless anyways. )

Why we are the way we are is wholly a different topic all together. But to summarize it, every human being on planet earth wants to 'LOOK GOOD'. It is this factor that runs, which commands, all the facets of life.

We are slaves of what I call 'WHAT IS NOT' syndrome. We are slaves of money and ambition. Why? Is it because we do not possess it? As is said, every finish line is the beginning of a new race; there won’t be dearth of ambitions, unless you are a lunatic. As far as money is concerned, we tend to see” WHAT IS NOT" rather than "WHAT IS". It will never be enough.

Picture this.
=="IF I was handsome, I would have had a very beautiful wife"
=="IF I had studied well, I would have gotten a good job"
=="IF I was not a lunatic, I would have been a philosopher"...well, it does not matter much, philosophers are lunatics anyways.
=="IF Osama-Bin-Laden is in Afghanistan, then so be it. I want oil for my screwed up brain", well wonder who said this.
==”IF everything goes fine, I will get what I want”

Now picture this,
==” I was handsome, BUT I did not get a beautiful wife”
==” I excelled in my studies, BUT I don’t have a good job”
==” I am not a lunatic, BUT I am not a philosopher”
==” I got my oil, BUT I did not find Osama-Bin-Laden. Let me seek him in Iraq”
==” Everything is fine, BUT I feel there is something missing”


Analyzing IFs and BUTs, they exist as a form in the past and in the future. "IF" is a tool for the mind to escape, to escape the inevitable. ”BUT” is a tool for the mind to invent, to invent reasons. They are very much valid. At the same time they are powerless. They just leave the entire deal on the situation; the situation controlling rather than you controlling the situation. In my opinion, "IF" imposes, it imposes conditionality. "BUT" defies, it defies possibility.

We are not afraid of what we can do rather we are afraid of what we cannot do.

So, if you are thinking, how do I break free from this tyranny? The solution is to be inspired. IFs and BUTs do not pollute the inspired heart.

Picture this…
==” I have a very beautiful wife”
==” I have a very good job”
==” I am a philosopher”
==” Where is Osama? I am a loser”
==” Everything is fine”

A Prisoner of Measurement

I look down on the jagged rocks,
leaning over a crooked cliff;
Stunningly beautiful expanse mocks,
at the melancholy whiff

Whispering wind, hymns of the stream,
Oblivion engulfs the beyond unseen;
Clouds dance in the red and yellow,
Humiliated emotions in a gloomy wallow

O fate, let me strike a deal;
Time did promise ,it will heal,
but my love was profound
and the hurt grows unbound

Depression is an accomplice,
deep inside me it does dwell;
My soul good at barter,
always finds a reason to sell

A need for life and a desire for death,
I take one last breath;
Pebbles roll on the perilous steep,
Beauty buzy in its mysterious weep

The sun shimmers into my deep eyes,
Tears, tumultous wind patiently dries
Silent was the falling smile,
heart does rapidly beat for a while

In the cosmic grip of everlasting laws,
relive all my happiness in that pause;
My existence scattered in the firmament,
I escape being a prisoner of measurement

My existence scattered in the firmament,
I escape being a prisoner of measurement

In The End I`ll Live

Melancholy darkness mourns,
the death of another day
Heavenly melody of birds,
in complete disarray

Troubled heart mourns,
the death of another hope
Distinct memories of laughter,
humid eyes unable to cope

The night has thousand eyes,
the day has but one,
The light of the bright world dies,
with the dying sun

The heart has thousand I`s
'YOU', it has but one,
The essence of the whole life dies
when the love is done

The sea rock braves, but dissolves
in the waves, powered by the tempest;
Reality hits me; alone I am standing
dissolving in the tears of understanding

You will find another love,
With pity and sympathy, I am told;
my fate laughs and tells me,
I will die alone

No longer will i cry
or ask for help from above
Nor O fate, I will forgive
But I know, in the end i`ll live

But I know, in the end i`ll live
=====================
would acknowledge Francis William Bourdillon, for he subconsciously inspired me with his thoughts for this poem..

My Reply To a Poem

(Thought I`ll comment on the poem written by a friend ,in the language that I know best ....)

FRIEND`S POEM
=============

Standing at your door !! Please open my dear !!

Though i stand at your door
i dont knock out of a little fear

It has been a long year
and i have been learning to keep this far

wishes once so demanding like a chilled opened beer
aging into wine getting smoother and smoother

the distace has vanished and my crazy cravings disappear
and i dont miss you that much any more.

for i have created a smiling you out of my little memoir
and my obsessions, in a weird rhythmic way i got over

The eye is not that playful any more
it's become steady and getting deeper.

I have grown a hairy beard and cut short my hair
and many times find you behind the mirror

I still stand like i used to at your door
though turned silent and dont knock out of a little fear.

but i dont know who you would like to meet an old friend or a stranger
and i have turned silent and dont knock out of a little fear.

Peep through the spying lens of the door
If you still find a friend plaese open my dear !!!


MY REPLY
========

The protagonist, behind closed doors...

I stare at the door,
feel the emptiness within;
I see it with a little tear,
making inroads through my skin

It`s been a long year
Why does he not drop by?
I am not sure,
Why doesn`t he knock and say 'hi'?

Wishes, once like a child,
waiting to be born
my cravings have become numb
and my heart is torn

I miss you a lot dear,
I`ll think of you till eternity
Let me revel,
in the pages of serenity

I ain`t myself anymore
how can i be?
thoughts though silent
I am just not me

Peep in my heart and listen to it beat
I am there near the door.
Please don`t fear;
If you still want a friend please knock,my dear

The Bird Story

( An attempt to get into something more creative )




It is minutes away from sunset. Feeling the warm tinge on my face, and me bathing in the golden, I realise the wind is at its mischievous best. The sun rays are playing hide and seek from behind the monument;like a kid waiting to get discovered .

I look towards the sky, and watch the lazy clouds go by.

My eyes fix on a lonely eagle; flapping its wings and gliding away to glory. For 10 minutes, it went on to discovering new pockets of air , making new patterns at ease. It was as if , it was dancing in the air with me being the choreographer.

I wondered why it was having fun alone? Is it searching for something? Where does it want to go? Something struck me, and I smiled. I realised that it was not alone, it had the sun, the wind, the high rise buildings and most importantly ME to give it company. It was just utilising each and every moment to the maximum.

It did find its partner after a while, and they flew high , very high to return to their abodes. Letting a sigh, I donno how long I then stared at the setting sun, wondering as to how I am gonna illuminate my lonely heart with its rays.....